So I know I’ve been MIA for almost a year and I am sorry for that but I just didn’t find inspiration for writing anymore. I’m really stressed out atm because I’m about to finish my last year of high school and there is an exam I have to take which will ultimately determine my future so no big deal.
But the reason I am writing right now is to address something that I’ve been doing for my whole life that might be a bit weird. By now everyone knows I’m a bit psychotic and I think that this will pretty much make me truly insane. I have thoughts, like most people, but I do not just think of outcomes of different situation. Let me explain, I am a negativist for sure and my mind, when encountered with a difficult or different type of situation, it just goes into full imagination mode where I create a vivid image of what might happen. For example, yesterday I was walking with my friend to a vegan restaurant and there was this small alley, it was like 2 p.m. so it wasn’t dark or anything but my mind simple went into psycho mode and I imagined a scenario where my friend and myself are terribly murdered by a man with an ax in complete daylight. It was fair to say I was mortified for the rest of the ride and my friend probably thought I was insane.
This wasn’t the first time it happened but it is the most recent event I could think of. Also, when I was little, I had a friend that used to be my best buddy in kindergarden and we were hiking with our parents and we decided to go in the forest. It wasn’t anything scary, we didn’t got lost or anything . We simple stumbled onto a lake, a small one but it was pretty dark and muddy. And me and my friend just watched the lake in silence when he said : ‘do you have an immense urge to just jump?’ and I agreed because I was thinking the same. This is actually a real psychological behaviour. There is a french term called ‘ l’appel du vide’ which translated to ‘ the call of the void’ and it’s described as a storong urge to jump of high places. Obviously my experience didn’t involve high places but I did have the urge to just jump into the unknown. Probably where my fear of the ocean came from really.
Do you relate to any of those things? Please do or I’ll truly think I’m crazy. What experiences do you have that involve the hights? Tell me in the comments below. Take care!